Chuck-u
Przypomniało mnie się:
If Chuck Norris were a calendar, every month would be named Chucktober, and every day he’d kick your ass.
Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time.
He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
Nothing can escape the gravity of a black hole, except for Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris eats black holes. They taste like chicken.
The chemical formula for the highly toxic cyanide ion is CN-. These are also Chuck Norris’ initials. This is not a coincidence.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live
Human cloning is outlawed because if Chuck Norris were cloned, then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe.
The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris.
The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.
Chuck Norris was banned from competitive bullriding after a 1992 exhibition in San Antonio, when he rode the bull 1,346 miles from Texas to Milwaukee Wisconsin to pick up his dry cleaning.
The original draft of The Lord of the Rings featured Chuck Norris instead of Frodo Baggins. It was only 5 pages long, as Chuck roundhouse-kicked Sauron’s ass halfway through the first chapter.
When Chuck Norris plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs
Chuck Norris does not eat. Food understands that the only safe haven from Chuck Norris’ fists is inside his own body.
Chuck Norris doesn’t actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
In the medical community, death is referred to as “Chuck Norris Disease”.
There are only two things that can cut diamonds: other diamonds, and Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris uses a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
I moje polskie ulubione (niecenzuralne):
Droga nie biegnie do lasu, ona spie***** przed Chuckiem Norrisem!
